Fun Things To Do While Driving (At Your Own Risk)

Bosan dan penat sewaktu memandu? Tertekan dengan kerenah pengguna jalan raya yang rasa diri itu raja tanpa takhta? Al-Fikr ada sedikit tips kelakar (boleh jadi bahaya kalau salah cara) unruk dikongsi. (dalam bahasa Inggeris, ada frasa yang sangat panjang kalau dihurai dlm bahasa Melayu)

1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
2. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
3. Write the words "HELP ME" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
4. Throw Spam. You know... the stuff in the can.
5. Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down ... to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw the Spam at them.
6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot. Hysterically. Borderline asphyxia.
8. Eat food that requires silverware. Eat it elegantly.
9. Pass cars, then slow down. If they pass you, pass them back. Repeat.
10. Sing without having the radio on. Make sure you're into it.
11. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
12. Honk frequently without motivation. Totally random. It's fun. Promise.
13. Wave at people often. If they wave back, get angry and make an obscene gesture.
14. Let pedestrians know who's boss. But do it in a non-going-to-jail kinda way.
15. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look. Someone's after you!
16. Restart your car at every stop light. You can't help if it stalls right?
17. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly. Caress them. You love them. They love you.

Pesanan akhir dari Al-Fikr. Rancang perjalanan anda. Berdoa pada Allah agar dimudahkan perjalanan. Pandu dengan cermat dan berhemah. Orang yang buat salah pada kita jangan dimaki, takut nanti bala menimpa diri.